


Unrequited

by Kewlmint34



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Emotions, Feelings Realization, M/M, Power Dynamics, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 02:31:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14322615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kewlmint34/pseuds/Kewlmint34
Summary: Peter finally asks a good question. Was Tony worth it?





	Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> Woah there, this fic was sudden and unexpected. I should probably stop letting my inspirations make me do things so impulsively lel... This one is kind of sad so... if you're not into that then here's your chance to run away. Anyways I hope you enjoy! <3

A shrill call of an ambulance rose and faded through the air on one significant Friday night. All the buildings in the area heard the call of distress, including the Stark tower. The sound finally barreled its way into the ears of Tony and Peter. They were both laying quietly in Tony's bedroom, only able to make out the figures of objects and each other in the perfectly dimmed light. Peter stretched on the bed and took the opportunity to shrink in closer to Tony. He felt his naked skin against more naked skin. The feeling was too warm but delightfully inescapable. Peter hadn't gotten used to that feeling yet. After all, this was only their sixth sexual encounter, and only the third time Peter got to spend the night. There were only so many excuses that Peter could give Aunt may for sleepovers at his "employer's" house. Peter definitely hadn't ever heard of someone needing to spend the night at an afternoon, experimental internship.    
  
Thankfully Aunt May didn't question it. Thankfully Peter got to experience these thrilling moments that he could never put into words, moments that he wasn’t allowed to put into words. It almost felt unfair that the world didn't allow Peter to express his feelings on what he deemed to be the most important thing ever. It was love, of course. Peter wasn't exactly sure when he first started to feel this heartbreaking emotion for Tony, but he definitely felt it during moments like these. He felt it whenever he heard Tony take a deep and expressive breath. He felt it when he ran his fingertips against Tony's bare chest and defined arms. However, he was unsure if he wanted to feel it anymore. It was the saddest thing, to feel love at times like these. Peter was intelligent beyond his years, yet still vulnerable. That’s why he knew how much of a fool he would be if he let himself love Tony. That's why he couldn't help it when he did anyways. It was agonizing to be in love with the feeling of your heart breaking.    
  
When they had time to lay like this, Peter liked to stare at Tony. This was the only time where he felt as though he had permission. This was when he looked beyond the attractive, the arrogance, the Iron Man, and just stared at...Tony.  Peter always noticed the way Tony looked at the ceiling, and rarely looked back at him. He also noticed the vacant and slightly sorrowful look that was concealed behind Tony's intelligent brown eyes. Peter wondered what Tony was going through. What in the world was strong enough to make a man that great fall into despair? This was only one of the reasons Peter hated his age. Perhaps if he had just been older he could have found Tony sooner. Perhaps he could have prevented that sad stare in Tony's eyes. Perhaps he could have made him happy beyond the tension-filled moments that they currently shared together.  
  
It was obvious to Peter by now that Tony used their intimacy as a welcome escape. Peter almost felt more valuable because of it. At least he was able to help for a short amount of time. Peter loved being the person that could give Tony temporary happiness, yet he resented not being the person that could supply that happiness permanently. Peter was now on his side, propped up on one arm while looking intensely at Tony. His other hand wandered the landscape of Tony's bare skin. Peter convinced himself daily that he was still in control. If everything was his decision, which Tony made sure it was, then he was in control. If he knew the consequences and still accepted, then he was in control. If he knew he was being used, and still enjoyed letting it happen... then surely, he was in control.    
  
Peter was growing antsy. He was thinking too much, and he couldn't stop it. Usually, he could put something aside. His urge for mutual affection. His need for sexual gratification. His acknowledgment of their certain doom. Unfortunately, right now he couldn't stop thinking about all of it and he couldn't find his usual relief in the dominating presence of Tony Stark. Actually, he was fairly certain that this feeling of panic was _because_ of Tony Stark. Along with Peter's new feelings of love came feelings of new distress, and a burning question. Was Tony worth it? Peter wanted to be certain about something, but this relationship was built on the concept of uncertainty. Right now, Peter could feel his emotions trying to cling to something stable.  He was starting to realize that Tony wasn't one of those things. Peter felt like if he was quiet for one more moment, that his brain would come to a rash conclusion.    
  
"Look at me," Peter commanded in a quiet voice. Urgency rang through his words, even though they were hushed and raspy from previously satisfying sex. Tony looked at Peter, unsurprised by his unusual request. Peter stared back. There they were... staring at each other. Just looking back and forth at the external features and concealing the broken mess they both had brewing underneath. Peter was looking for something. He was trying desperately to find something in Tony's eyes, something that was worth all of the heartbreak. As Peter desperately looked back and forth between the eyes that still hadn't changed expression, he felt himself sink.  
  
That night was beginning to feel like an ending. Some days you can just feel that something will end. Sometimes it's a job, an opportunity, or a life. Peter could feel it... today was an ending. He felt the familiar heartbreaking love rush through him. He knew he didn't want to feel it again. Peter thought maybe he had changed because this was the first time that Tony didn't feel worth it. Tony who was nothing but luxury, pleasure, gratification, and sin... wasn't worth it. Falling in love was all it took for Peter to realize just how bad everything had become. Peter wondered why _this_ had to be his first love. Perhaps Tony had ruined something for him after all, just like he had promised.    
  
Peter felt like his heart had melted into his blood. His emotions ran hot and hungry through his entire body. He was still looking at Tony's eyes, but he was certain that Tony wasn't looking at his. Tony was only looking at an escape, a distraction, a disposable experience. Peter didn't want to be seen that way anymore. Peter wanted someone to _look_ at him. That person could never be Tony. Peter knew that this was going to hurt like hell. He knew that this was going to leave a scar. He knew that he was sentencing himself to a pain that he had never experienced before. He knew what had to be done.    
  
Peter knew just how to end this. If he just said one thing... everything would be over. Just a few words would free him, and then maybe he could try to move on. Peter parted his lips, knowing that what he said next would end everything between the two of them, but if _he_ decided when it ended... then at least he was in control. Only this much honesty could kill a relationship built on lies. So, Peter said,  
  
"I love you.."      


End file.
